Does it trigger a pattern of habitual negative thoughts and emotions, and switches your impostor syndrome on? Do you begin to doubt yourself?
I recently worked with a client whose biggest challenge was that she got really triggered emotionally when rejected and hearing a "no" from clients or in other business interactions. She explained that when these triggers happened, she would spend hours and even days ruminating about the situation, no longer feeling confident and as a result would stop marketing and showing up online for her business, sabotaging her growth. From the perspective of mindset work, coaching, hypnotherapy (traditional suggestive kind) and other mind-based approaches (which most of my clients have tried in the past), the solution to these issues would be to
1) change our thinking about the situation; give ourselves pep talks; to not take things personally, and other similar conscious mind reasoning (cognitive level)
and 2) addressing the situation with the people we have been triggered by to find some resolution (behavioral level). However, most of my clients and people I know (myself included), will admit that they can't just bounce back, "stop thinking about it” or “start thinking about it positively” and go on about their life.
We keep going back to the negative situation EMOTIONALLY. And even when we do move on, SOME NEW SITUATION RE-TRIGGERS THE SAME MECHANISM ALL OVER AGAIN. BECAUSE OUR TRIGGERS AND EMOTIONAL REACTIONS ARE NEVER ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING CURRENTLY.
THEY ARE ALWAYS ABOUT THE PAST.
The new experience touches an old wound (or several) and things spin out of control, again (more on the mechanism of it later).
Bringing us back to square one. Which is when a lot of us personal-development driven people will hire coaches and other mind-based practitioners, and start the reasoning all over again... Some of us go for approaches like suggestive or regressive type of hypnotherapy to work on the problem on the subconscious level. By going back to a past experience where our trigger reaction originated.
If the original event that created our emotional wound and negative conditioning took place in childhood, then therapeutic work might include inner child work. The practitioner we work with will ask us to talk to our inner child personality aspect, giving it support, love, encouragement and some words of wisdom.
BUT, THE PROBLEM IS >>> we did not have complex thoughts, schemas, logic and reasoning as children.
Especially in our pre-verbal stage. And all the way until much later in our teens, when our brain finally fully develops. As I often say, our inner children don't understand logic or words. In this state, there are only EMOTIONS. Emotions that get written onto our BIOLOGY. So as adults, when we do this type of reasoning, mindset or inner child work practices --- when we try to TALK TO OUR INNER CHILDREN and other PRE or NON-VERBAL parts of our consciousness ---- it does NOT land. Even when that origin event did not happen in childhood (which is very rare...), talking and reasoning still cannot land, as they cannot get processed or understood BY OUR BODIES/NERVOUS SYSTEMS. Especially, if we are dealing with some serious trauma, parental wounding or rejection/abandonment (my client's trauma trigger) that created deep nervous system's wiring. All outside of the mind' control! When we try to talk and reason, using our analytical minds, we are not reaching or addressing the limbic brain, amygdala (the brains' fear center), or the level of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems that got affected in that past event. This dysregulation is stored in our BODIES and is written in our neurochemistry (emotions=chemicals we run habitually) and the neurological pathways that our bodies run on autopilot since that origin experience took place. And this is where we go back to, again and again, and in the case of my client, whenever she gets a rejection and feels flooded by the old childhood pain that it retriggers in her body.
The process that continues until and unless it is addressed using tools that work with the body's memory and can take on such task. Going BEYOND THE MIND. This is the mechanism that I had to develop tools for in my hypnotherapy practice and why I use my innovative body memory release method that can be understood even by a 2 year old (Inner child heaven ) and also by the body, in order to address long-term fears, blocks and trauma.
To achieve the changes neurologically, emotionally, energetically and mentally, since I simultaneously combine body-level work with subconscious and mindset reprogramming, so the entire charge around the old triggers get released.
~ If you would like to experience this work to release triggers, fears and blocks that stop you from your relationships and life fulfillment, as well as higher levels of your success, impact or a desired income, I offer a 1-on-1 4 month intensive program for heart-driven female entrepreneurs where we work on releasing negative relationship patterns (personal, with clients and others), fears (fear of rejection, judgement, success, camera, public speaking, marketing or self-promotion, and others), confidence blocks and money limitations that stem from unresolved trauma, relationship wounds and past emotional pain.
If interested in experiencing this work, message me privately to get you started.